FOMO crept back into my life in the most predictable way imaginable: I was scrolling through Instagram. The offending post was a photo snapped at a backyard birthday party. My first thought was, Wait, why wasnt I invited? Followed by the most intense sense of FOMO Ive ever experienced.Fear of missing out, or FOMO, was added to the Oxford English Dictionary in 2013, though the phrase was created in 2000 by, no surprise, a marketing strategist. FOMO is a form of social anxiety that feels like a nagging, all-consuming sense that youre missing out on somethingplans, in-jokes, even a better experience than the one youre currently having are all fair game for FOMO. While it ruled the social dynamics of pre-pandemic life (a University of British Columbia study found that 48 percent of those studied believed their friends had more friends than they did), it seemed like during the pandemic, FOMO took a back seat.(Related:Introducing the Brand New and Not Improved Post-Pandemic Me)It made sense: During the pandemic, we were told that the best thing we could do for ourselves and our communities was stay home and miss out on normal life. During lockdown, people even started embracing JOMO, or the joy of missing out. But, as we slowly come out of the pandemic, it feels like FOMO is back. And, if my backyard birthday party reaction is any indication, its stronger than ever.The more I ruminated on that gathering, the deeper I delved into an impenetrable mental maze. I wondered why I even felt FOMO, especially after a whole year of declining any invitations for face-to-face plans. Then I agonized over whether I even wanted an invite in the first placebesides, I hadnt talked to these people since March 2020.Finally, I did something I had never done before: I counted the people who were there. If there were 10 people at the party, they couldnt have invited methat would make the event too big, I rationalized to myself, remembering that Ontarios outdoor gathering limit was capped at 10 at the time. Unfortunately, this rationale was another mental maze dead end: I began stewing over the fact that I didnt make this persons top 10.It turns out that not only is FOMO back with a vengeance but theres also a whole host of new things that affect how we socialize and that contribute to post-pandemic social anxiety.(Related:8 Women Share the Impact the Pandemic Has Had on Their Mental Health)First, theres more to think about whenever youre making plans. All these extra considerationsvaccination status, government restrictions, individual comfort levelcan make planning extremely overwhelming. If we had been born into this, and it had gone on for a decade, it wouldnt be as hard to manage because wed have so much experience doing it, says Allison Ouimet, an associate professor of clinical psychology at the University of Ottawa. But this is all new. We havent figured out how to get through it yet.Everyone has a different approach to COVID-era socializing. For example, if I go to a public patio, will my more cautious friends be mad at me for not being as careful as them? Or, what if Im the cautious onewill my friends be upset that I dont want to hang out? Theres going to be a fair amount of anxiety over peoples boundaries, says Ouimet. That can create conflict and anxiety about conflict.Then theres the fact that we just havent done the whole socializing thing in a while. According to Ouimet, itll take some time to build up those socialization muscles to where they were pre-pandemic. Weve all been living an introverts life for the past year and a half, so when we go back out to seeing lots of people, it saps our energy, she says. Since were out of practice hanging out offline, we arent used to all the additional stimuli: other real human beings, the environment were in, trying to think about when to cut in to the conversation. Its overwhelming when you haven’t had to pay attention to that much stuff in a while.(Related:Going the Distance: How Covid Has Remapped Friendships)Luckily, Ouimet believes most of us will reacclimatize soon. In three or six months, well have figured out how to handle this, she says. But right now, were in this in-between phase where everyones got different beliefs, emotions and reactions to reopening, and we dont quite have the tools to navigate those differences just yet. Itll feel really, really awkward and weird and hard at first, but I think its going to get really easy quicklywere going to fall right back into who we were before the pandemic, socially.For now, as we stumble through this awkward moment between lockdown and the new normal, Ouimet says we should cut ourselves a bit of slack. It makes sense that things are harder, she says. Show yourself some compassion and forgiveness rather jumping to criticize yourself for how youre feeling.To transition back into socializing, Ouimet suggests starting with naming your fears to nail down what youre anxious about. When we feel anxious, its this big jumble of thoughts and feelings and emotions and physical sensations, et cetera, she explains. Once youve pinned down why youre feeling anxious, take a small step outside your comfort zone. Maybe youre not ready for a restaurant patio, but you could have some friends over in your backyard, for example. These small, incremental steps will ease you back into socializing at pre-pandemic levels while still accepting your own boundaries, says Ouimet. And, over time, the more we do things a little bit outside our comfort zone, the more comfortable were going to feel doing them.While Im ready to be back where I was pre-pandemicmaking plans on a whim as opposed to fighting FOMO while also avoiding the social stress of initiating plansI hope I can bring some of the JOMO I leaned into during lockdown. I dont want to stress over being Friend #11 anymore.Next,this is how to cope with the anxiety of the post-pandemic world.
The post How the Pandemic Changed How We Feel When We Feel Left Out appeared first on Best Health Magazine Canada.
0 Commentaires